I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
