I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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