I can tuck mytits in my pants
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
