people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
