DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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