dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
