I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
