you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
