I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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