Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
