is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
