too bad you live with your parents still
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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