Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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