We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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