needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
