she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
