Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
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The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
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I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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