Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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