Since when is my name a synonym for head?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
