i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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