Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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