So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
