If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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