Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
