Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
