I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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