Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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