Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
