It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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