I heard we made out
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
