If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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