:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
