soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
