You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Its about making memories worth repressing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
