i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's just like the Real World with babies
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
