WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
