I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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