You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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