I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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