I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
