we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
