i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
