then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize