I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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