He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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