I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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