Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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