On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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