Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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