I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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