hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize