"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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