I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
