Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was confusing and full of hummus
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My vagina just recognized that song.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
