Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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