I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
