Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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