ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
