You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
