But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize