I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
