Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
