i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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