he thought i was a dude.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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