HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There r osticjed everywhere
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
