A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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